Mental Anguish
"Methinks that the moment my legs began to move, my thoughts began to flow." - Henry David Thoreau
See that little counter over on my left sidebar? Oh, you are reading this in Reader? Okay, well I will read it to you. What it says is, "8 days (and some odd hours) until the City of Roses Half Marathon".
Yes, 8 days.
I am not ready. Physically, I am fine. It is my mental capacities that are lacking. Although I KNOW I can do it, I am still nervous/scared/doubting myself.
Why? I don't know. I have done it before and it really doesn't matter if (a) I run really slow, (b) I have to walk or (c) I don't finish at all.
But I am my worst critic and am hardest on myself and I want to do well, even though I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter what happens. If I were you and you were me, I would tell you that you are going to do fine and to just have fun with it and that it Doesn't Matter! But I am me and even though I try to tell myself the same thing, I am feeling a little strange.
This always happens to me before a big race. It's like stage fright. Like cold feet. Like speaking in front of a bunch of people even though you KNOW you are prepared and you know the material. It's self doubt for NO reason.
Usually it is gone after the first mile.
However, until that first mile is under my belt (in 8 days and some odd hours), I will wonder: did I eat enough today / last night / yesterday / last week? Did I train enough this week / for the last 12 weeks? Did I train too much? Am I strong enough? Is my alarm going to go off on time? Do I really need to pee or am I just nervous?
And then, the first mile will go by and I will do what I know how to do. I will do what I have done before. I will do what I have been doing for the last 12 weeks (and years before that). I will run. I will enjoy myself. I will be reminded that those nerves are just a part of being excited.
I will be reminded that races are my FAVORITE part of running.
Have you ever run a race? If so, did you like it? Did you get nervous beforehand? Do you have any upcoming races?
See that little counter over on my left sidebar? Oh, you are reading this in Reader? Okay, well I will read it to you. What it says is, "8 days (and some odd hours) until the City of Roses Half Marathon".
Yes, 8 days.
I am not ready. Physically, I am fine. It is my mental capacities that are lacking. Although I KNOW I can do it, I am still nervous/scared/doubting myself.
Why? I don't know. I have done it before and it really doesn't matter if (a) I run really slow, (b) I have to walk or (c) I don't finish at all.
But I am my worst critic and am hardest on myself and I want to do well, even though I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter what happens. If I were you and you were me, I would tell you that you are going to do fine and to just have fun with it and that it Doesn't Matter! But I am me and even though I try to tell myself the same thing, I am feeling a little strange.
This always happens to me before a big race. It's like stage fright. Like cold feet. Like speaking in front of a bunch of people even though you KNOW you are prepared and you know the material. It's self doubt for NO reason.
Usually it is gone after the first mile.
However, until that first mile is under my belt (in 8 days and some odd hours), I will wonder: did I eat enough today / last night / yesterday / last week? Did I train enough this week / for the last 12 weeks? Did I train too much? Am I strong enough? Is my alarm going to go off on time? Do I really need to pee or am I just nervous?
And then, the first mile will go by and I will do what I know how to do. I will do what I have done before. I will do what I have been doing for the last 12 weeks (and years before that). I will run. I will enjoy myself. I will be reminded that those nerves are just a part of being excited.
I will be reminded that races are my FAVORITE part of running.
Have you ever run a race? If so, did you like it? Did you get nervous beforehand? Do you have any upcoming races?
This post is linked up with Jill at: